See You Soon
by oftheSOUL
Summary: Rachel tries her best to fit in at William McKinley but when her efforts go unnoticed what will she do? Title Change. Warning for Suicide.
1. Lost

Rachel Berry made her way through the halls of William McKinley High School only to be stopped in her tracks by two football players walking towards her with full cups of slushies. Before she could object, she felt the icy, cold liquid seeping its way down her face and setting into her outfit.

"Know your place loser!" one of them yelled back as they walked away high-fiving and laughing towards one another. Rachel looked around the crowded hallways.

_Just because I'm losing__  
Doesn't mean I'm lost__  
Doesn't mean I'll stop  
Doesn't mean I would cross_

Everyone was laughing and whispering about her. This was normal though. After two and a half years of going through this, she was used to it. The thing that got her was when she met the eyes of Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Artie. They too were laughing at Rachel as Kurt stage whispered a disapproving comment about her outfit towards Mercedes. She knew that no one in Glee liked her but she didn't think that they would just stand there and laugh. They knew how she felt, they've went through it before. She walked over to her defaced locker with the word 'FREAK' written on it with black sharpie and grabbed a clean set of clothes before rushing into the girl's restroom. It was there that she decided to break down and release the tears that she was trying so hard to hold in. She changed into the dark denim skinny jeans and a flattering black top that her dads had persuaded her to buy. Even they knew she was a freak.

"Oh please Manhands, stop being so dramatic. You should be used to this now," Santana said when she walked into a crying Rachel.

"How could you be so mean to me Santana? What have I ever done to you?" Rachel said softly. Santana rolled her eyes.

"Just being around you is enough cause for this," Santana said with each word filled with more hate, "I can't even be in the same room as you. Don't you understand Berry? No one likes you. Not me, not Quinn, not the glee kids, and most certainly not Finn. So do us a favor and just leave." Santana rolled her eyes at Rachel and then left the room. Rachel stood there for a moment looking in the mirror and a new wave of tears took over.

_Just because I'm hurting__  
Doesn't mean I'm hurt  
Doesn't mean I didn't get__  
What I deserved  
No better and no worse_

"God!" she yelled as she smashed her fist through the mirror. She hadn't meant to break the mirror; she just didn't want to see her reflection any longer. She slid towards the cold tile and pulled her knees closer to her head. She didn't care if her hand was bleeding. She heard the bell ring and waited a moment seeing if the coast was clear. When she peaked through the door and saw anyone, she took a deep breath and made her way out of the room. Just as she turned the corner, she bumped into the last person that she wanted to see, Noah.

"Whoa Berry, if you wanted to cop a feel all you had to do was ask," Puck said putting on his infamous smirk. He looked at Rachel worriedly when he noticed that she just kept staring at the ground and not responding. He studied her presence for a moment and spotted her bleeding hand.

"Shit Berry! What happened!" He asked inspecting her hand close up.

"It's nothing." She pulled her hand away from him and winced in pain as she felt the movement.

"That is not nothing; that is something. Come here!" He grabbed Rachel's free hand and dragged her to the bed of his truck where he kept a first aid kit. He was a badass who got in a lot of fights and he sure couldn't go to the nurse's office to treat his cuts and bruises now could he? He inspected her hand to see how deep the cuts were and if there were any remnants of glass stuck on her hand. Thankfully for her, there was none.

"What the hell did you do?" Rachel just rolled her eyes.

"Like you care. Leave me the fuck alone Puck and pretend like I don't exist like you always do," she spat out. Puck grimaced at her harsh words; it was the first time she ever called him Puck and not Noah and the first time he's ever heard her cuss. There was something definitely wrong. The day went by quickly as he watched Rachel every now and then. Rachel was one of the last ones to enter into the choir room for rehearsal. Puck didn't mean to be early; it just wasn't badass but that encounter with Rachel earlier spooked him.

"What a step up from your usual hideous outfits," Kurt said as she walked into the room. Rachel didn't know whether to take it as an insult or a compliment. She soon realized it was an insult when he continued on. "Just because you want to look the part now doesn't mean that you will ever fit in. You put a target on your back, not our fault."

"Wow RuPaul, can you be any more obvious?" Quinn snorted, "Wipe those alligator tears. Finn's not here to save you and even if he were, he's allegiance is to me." Puck rolled his eyes. His baby mama was really bitchy when she wanted to be. Rachel's eyes became watery again but she was trying to hold in it this time. Just then, Mr. Schue came in followed by the rest of the team.

_You might be a big fish__  
In a little pond  
__Doesn't mean you've won__  
Cause a long may come  
A bigger one_

"Alright guys, I think I've got a new number for sectionals." Everyone looked up at him curiously as he held a stack of sheet music in his hand. "Rachel, can you handle it?" Before Rachel could say anything, Kurt and Mercedes immediately interrupted.

"Mr. Schue, it's not fair for you to give every single solo to Rachel. There are 11 other people in this group, not just Rachel freaking Berry," Mercedes said letting her attitude shine out.

"Mercedes, I haven't given Rachel any solos for a while. Apart from Don't Stop Believing, Rachel has no other leads in any of the songs. I think this song is good for her."

"And what about the rest of us, Mr. Schue? I for one love this song. Wicked was one of my favorite Broadway musicals. I would do more justice in this song than she ever can." Damn, since when did everyone start treating Berry like shit? Sure she was annoying and all that jazz, but this was a whole other level. Mr. Schue just sighs and nods his head.

"You're right. Kurt, let's give you a shot at this." Mr. Schue said.

"But Mr. Schue-"

"Rachel! Just stop," Mr. Schue said a little too loudly. He pinches the bridge of his nose and tapes a deep breath. "Sorry Rachel, I shouldn't have yelled like that." She just gives him a small smile and Puck is literally floored. Since when was she the type of person to just move on without a fight? Her usual self would've spoken out about this. He watched as Mercedes and Kurt gave each other a high five. Everyone just smirked. Puck kept getting distracted every few minutes because of Rachel. He noticed that she wasn't singing along, she was just mouthing the words. She didn't have that usual sparkle in her eyes. Not that he noticed that kind of thing. Once rehearsal ended, Rachel got up and bolted out there door as if the building was on fire.

"Pathetic," he heard Santana say to Quinn and Brittany. They laughed.

_And you'll be lost__  
Every river that you tried to cross__  
Every gun you ever held went off__  
Ohhh and I'm...__  
Just waiting until the firing stopped__  
Ohhh and I'm...  
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off_

_

* * *

_

**Review please :) This was intended to be a one-shot but I changed my mind. It's going to be one of the shorter ones though. Song choice: Lost - Coldplay**


	2. The Scientist

**A/N: This chapter has mentions of self-harm. **

**

* * *

**

_Come up to meet you tell you I'm sorry_  
_You don't know how lovely you are_  
_I had to find you tell you I need you_  
_tell you I set you apart._

Puck was at his locker talking to a random new Cheerio when he saw her enter the school. Rachel came to school looking like a completely different Rachel Berry. She had on another pair of jeans, and a black hooded sweatshirt. She tied her hair up in a messy bun and didn't even bother to put makeup on. Behind the glasses he never knew she had, he could see that her eyes were still red and puffy.

"Hey, hey are you still listening?" the Cheerio said. He shook the image of Rachel from his mind and looked back at the girl

"Yeah sorry I was distracted. Can we do this later?" She huffed and stomped away. There was most definitely not going to be a later after the way she stomped off. He made his way over to Rachel's locker when he saw five hockey players surrounding her. They were going to slushie her from all sides. That was cruel even for him. Before he could interfere, they splashed her with different flavor slushies. She looked like a rainbow from all the assortment of colors. As if on impulse, Puck walked over and slammed Karofsky against the locker.

"Lay off of her man!" Puck yelled in his face. Karofsky laughed in his face.

"Since when did you care about the freak?" Puck just slammed Karofsky against the locker harder.

"She's my friend. I want you to tell everyone that. Tell the jocks, the cheerios, everyone you can possibly see and let them know that if they mess with Rachel Berry again they will have to deal with me."

"Please Puckerman, you don't have the juice anymore," Karofsky sneered. With one last laugh, him and the rest of the hockey players turned around and walked away. After they turned the corner, Puck turned around to find Rachel gone.

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions  
Oh, let's go back to the start running in circles  
Calling tails heads on a silence apart_

"What the hell," he muttered to himself. He was angry at the fact that he just stood up for her and she just left. He looked down and saw the trail of slushie leading him to where she was at. He followed it until he reached the outside of the school. She was just sitting there on a picnic table not even bothering to wash the slushies off of her. He walked over to her and took a seat beside her.

"Hey Berry," Puck said.

"Look I saw what you did back there and as chivalrous as that was, I don't want it. You can't start feeling sorry for me now. You were one of them a few weeks ago, you were the one who started this," she said enunciating the word you for emphasis. Puck hung his head down in shame. She was right.

"Look, I know I did all those things to you years ago but I'm sorry. I know you probably don't want to forgive me but I just want you to know that if you need someone to talk to-" Before he could finish his sentence, Rachel scoffed.

"You will be there for me? Is that what you were going to say? Why? So you can run off and tell Quinn and Santana to give them more stuff to make fun of me about? So you can get me vulnerable and have sex with me because we all know that's what you're good for Puckerman." With that said, she walked away angrier than she had been for the slushie attack. Puck watched as she left not trying to look so upset at everything she just told him. When the hell did Rachel grow a backbone? Fine, if she was going to act like that then the hell if he cared. He walked back into the school and strolled into his class late as usual.

_Nobody said it was easy  
It's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be this hard  
Oh, take me back to the start_

Rachel walked to her car and drove home instead of going back to the school. She didn't care about her perfect attendance or her perfect grades anymore. None of that made her feel important. She ran up to her room to peel the sticky clothes off of her and hopped into the shower. She didn't plan to go back to school until Glee practice so she just changed into her most comfortable clothes. This was one of the times where Rachel really wished she had a mother. Sure, she had two great dads, they were hardly home. If they weren't at their offices all day, then they would be off on business trips. She couldn't blame them her father was a high profile lawyer and her dad was probably one of the best brain surgeons in Ohio. Regardless of how much she loved them, it was not the same as the maternal nourishment a mother could've given her.

Rachel walked over to the bathroom mirror that she was accustomed to now. It started a month ago. She would come home every night and look at herself in the mirror. Then one day she had enough; she took a large black sharpie and outlined her reflection in the mirror. After that, Rachel drew arrows pointing to the direction of the outline. The arrows were followed by words like not good enough, not pretty enough, big nose, trout mouth, not smart enough, and not Quinn Fabray. Rachel drew a new arrow and wrote the words my mother didn't want me on the mirror.

_Science and progress did not speak as loud as my heart  
Tell me you love me come back and haunt me  
I want to rush to the start running in circles  
Chasing tails coming back as we are_

She sank down in tears. Breaking down never came easy to Rachel until this past month. Sure she threw diva tantrums, but full on crying was something she never did. She pulled out her cutting shears and started to press down and drag it along parts of her stomach. She didn't wince anymore like she did the first time. Now, it felt natural. With each cut, she let out a harder sob. It wasn't because it hurt; it was because with each cut she felt herself coming back to reality. The blood was dripping down her stomach but Rachel no longer cared. She wasn't stupid, she knew that if she cut her arms, everyone would know and everyone would just say she was craving attention so she cut herself in places she knew other people would not see, her stomach and thighs. She wiped off the blood and traced her fingertips through the fresh indentations.

* * *

"Seriously Puck, what's your problem?" Quinn said once they got out of class.

"What do you want now?" he asked her. He was still mad about the whole Rachel thing and he didn't need to hear a new tirade about how he was just a Lima loser and that the baby was Finn's.

"Are you seriously that low to freaking go befriend Manhands just because I won't let you claim the fetus," she said in sheer disgust. Puck rolled his eyes. He wasn't her boyfriend and he wasn't the baby's father according to her so why should she care who he hung out. "Puck, answer me! I know what you're trying to do. You are trying to get in cozy with Manhands so Finn will get jealous and cause problems in our relationship." Again, Puck couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I had planned in mind," he said sarcastically. He was about to turn away from Quinn when he walked back to face her. "You're pathetic and you have no reason to hate on Rachel, she's been there for you more times than Santana has. Trust, when your secret comes out, you're going to wish you had a friend like Rachel." He walked away without another word. The rest of the day was going just as bad so when it came time for Glee, Puck was actually excited.

Much to his chagrin, he saw Kurt and Mercedes maliciously tearing down Rachel for her new outfit selections: a pair of sweats and a WMHS tee-shirt. He didn't know what the sudden change in wardrobe came from but it wasn't the Rachel that he knew. He just took the seat farthest from the rest of the singers, and watched as Rachel just sat there. Her face looked void of any emotion. Fortunately, she wasn't crying anymore. Practice dragged on for what felt like hours as they had to listen to Kurt bitch and moan about not being able to hit the high F. When they started working on songs that weren't Defying Gravity, Rachel would just sit there mouthing the words. She didn't even sway to the music like she always did.

Once practice was over, Rachel shot up and bolted out of the door like she has done for the past two days. This time, Puck didn't worry about it. Whatever she was doing was her own deal. She made it clear enough that she didn't want him around. He got into his truck and drove home resisting the temptation to make the wrong turn and end up in front of Rachel's house. The girl was driving him crazy and he didn't even know why. Was it because they were friends? Because she was the only one that cared for him and saw him for what he was worth? Or was it because he liked all the quirky things that she did and he didn't want to see that side of her go away because of the insensitive nature of their classmates? Maybe it was all three.

"Shit, I have feelings for Rachel Berry," Puck said to himself. He stopped resisting and made the turn to Rachel's house.

_Nobody said it was easy  
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
I'm going back to the start_

* * *

**Review please! Song choice: The Scientist - Coldplay**


	3. Fix You

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want, but not what you need  
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse_

Puck arrived at Rachel's house within a few short minutes. He parked across the street and one house over to not alert her fathers. His heart was racing as he ran towards her front door. Just as he was going to ring the doorbell, he heard loud voices arguing.

"Rachel, what's gotten into you? You're ditching classes now? You know you can't afford to do that; your grades are already lacking as it is," Rachel's dad said. Puck was shocked. From what he knew Rachel was an honor roll student.

"It was a B+ on a stupid math test; I still have an A in the class," Rachel protested. He remembered that day. It was one of the rare times he actually went to his math classes.

_Rachel's eyes were filled with tears as Ms. Edwards finished passing back the tests. She flipped through the pages profusely to see if there was a mistake in grading but there wasn't. _

"_Hey, what's wrong Berry?" Puck asked leaning over towards her._

"_I got a B+." He raised his brows at her. _

"_A B+ is a good thing." He looked at Rachel curiously as she shook her head. _

"_No, you don't understand. This is not a good thing," she said getting up and walking out of class not even caring that class was still in session._

"Calm down honey, we know that you're trying," Rachel's other dad, whom she referred to as daddy, added.

"Don't get her such an excuse to slack John. She comes from a line of Berry's and we excel in everything we do especially in academics."

"Dad, things are like it was when you went to high school."

"Like what falling for a boy that doesn't like you back? That's really important," her dad said sarcastically.

"I'm in Glee, I'm in the drama department, I do community service, I take all my voice and dance classes and I have a 4.2 GPA. I take every AP class offered. I'm doing everything I can to make it into Julliard. Why can't you just accept my efforts? It's like every little thing I do isn't good enough." Puck felt a new found respect for the girl that he was listening to. She was right; she did so much extracurricular activities it even got him confused.

"I know that you do a lot of extracurricular activities Rach, but you got to understand where your dad's coming from," John said softly. Puck heard a lot of shuffling and doors slamming. He figured that Rachel went into her room, so he started to walk back to his truck. Just as he hit the sidewalk he heard footsteps behind him. He tried to act nonchalantly just in case it was one of her fathers that walked outside but to his surprise it was Rachel.

"Are you stalking me now Puckerman? I'll have you know it's a crime."

"No, I wasn't stalking you. I just stopped by because I was worried. You know, you've been really quiet lately."

"Yes I did know. I thought you for one would be pleased that I shut my, what did you guys call it? My trout mouth?" she said every word dripping with hostility.

"What has gotten into you Rachel?"

"I've grown up Puck. I've learned that no matter how I try, it doesn't matter. I'm not that naïve little girl anymore pining for a guy who has hurt me and used me so many times. I'm not that annoying girl that's trying to be nice to everyone. I'm not the girl who's always trying to be perfect. I'm sick of it," she said. Her eyes were filling quickly with tears, and Puck felt his heart clenching.

_And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?_

"Let's get out of here," Puck said. Rachel looked at him surprised. He took it as a cue to go on. "Look, your dads are going to come out here eventually if they hear people having a conversation outside of their house, and I know you probably don't want to see them right now so let's get out of here." Rachel nodded and followed him to his truck. They didn't talk during the whole drive. She didn't even know why she got in the car with him. He was one of the people who made her life a living hell.

"Where are we going?" she asked trying to break the silence.

"Just wait and see." She nodded at his response and watched the scenery pass as he drove. Finally, they stopped at a park she's never seen near the top of the hill.

"What is this place?" Rachel asked.

"It's like a running, walking, hiking trail. Not a lot of people go here because it's all the way up here so I come here often when I want to get drunk." Rachel rolled her eyes. It didn't surprise here that he would do that.

"I'm not going to drink with you so that you can take advantage of me," she said. Now it was Puck's turn to roll his eyes.

"Even though you have all these bad thoughts about the kind of person I am, I can ensure you that I'm not here to try to take advantage of you, but you know if you want," he said leaning in wiggling his brows and smirking. Rachel laughed at the image in front of her.

"Is this how you get all the girls," she asked. He leaned back and laughed.

"Some of them. Others just need to see my bod." They shared a laugh with each other as surprising as it was.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

"C'mon, let's take a walk," Puck offered. Rachel agreed and two of them started walking down the trail. There was silence as they walked neither knowing what to say. It was all new to them since they had never been friends.

"She's mine you know," Puck said trying to break the silence. He was expecting Rachel to give him the big long lecture about how it was wrong to lie to Finn like that but he heard nothing coming from her.

"Yeah, I figured. I see the way you run over to Quinn at the drop of a hat."

"Why haven't you gone and told everyone? We weren't exactly the nicest people to you so why didn't you do anything if you had the chance," he asked. Rachel shrugged as she continued walking.

"I know how it is on the other side. Everyone ostracizing you; it's not something I would wish on anyone. What about you though? I can tell that you want this baby yet you allow Quinn to claim that the baby is Finn's."

"It's what she wants," he said shrugging. "She doesn't think I'll be a good father and she doesn't want to lose her relationship with Finn."

"So you're willing to let her be happy and pregnant with someone else for her own happiness?" Rachel asked. Puck nodded sadly. "That sounds like a good father to me."

_And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth_

"What's wrong with you Rachel?" he asked her trying to change the subject.

"I, I don't know. I used to have this hunger for life you know. I never let things get to me but it's just hard trying to be strong all the time," she said as tears made their way down her face. Puck reached over and wiped the fallen tear from her face gently. She closed her eyes at his touch. "It never mattered to me what you guys did because I just assumed that you guys were jocks and it wouldn't matter because we would never be friends but Glee, that's what hurts." Puck nodded his head understanding what she meant.

"Finn's used me so many times. He's played with my feelings for him to manipulate me into doing so much stuff for him. I don't know why I get the short end of the stick when he's the one pursuing it too. Did you know I dropped the Cabaret for him to find that he only wanted me so he can get a scholarship?" Puck nodded. He called Finn a jackass when he found out.

"Finn's a jerk. I don't understand why you, Quinn and Kurt like him so much." Rachel shrugged.

"Honestly I thought I was in love with him. He was so kind to me; he was the first person I thought could be my friend. Then, he broke my heart and went to Quinn so many times. I stopped liking him months ago but no one sees it. Everyone just assumes I'm still trying to steal the boyfriend of a pregnant girl." Puck shook his head. She was right; everyone took their frustration out on her when it deserved to be served at Finn as well.

_Tears stream down on your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down on your face  
And on your face I..._

"I just really though that I was making friends for once. It's hard to get through life without having anyone on your side."

"Rachel, you don't have to be alone. If you need anything ever, I'm here for you," Puck said. Rachel shook her head as the tears streamed down.

"It's nice to offer Puck, but you and I both know that it will never work. You're a jock, and I'm a loser that's how it's always going to be."

"Who gives a fuck about the labels and what everyone else is going to think. I don't care and neither should you. I'm your friend Rachel Berry. You don't have to go through this life alone," Puck declared. She opened her mouth to interject when Puck began speaking again, "and I'm not taking no for an answer." She closed her mouth and smiled at him.

"Thank you Puck. I'm sorry for all the mean things I've said to you the past couple of days. It was rude of me."

"You're welcome Rachel and its fine. I deserve it for everything I've done to you. Whatever it is that is hurting you, I will fix you," he said proudly.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

_

* * *

_**Review Please! Song: Fix You - Coldplay**_. _**If none of you noticed, the chapters are based off Coldplay songs. They are one of my favorite bands of all time. **_  
_


	4. Amsterdam

**A/N: Before I start, I just wanted to let you know that I am an advocate for homosexuality and I think judging someone because of who they choose to love is incredibly wrong. Therefore, I'm going to apologize for putting the word Fag on here. It's a truly disgusting word. I'm sorry if it offends anyone.  
**

**

* * *

**

_Come on, my star is fading and I swerve out of control  
If i, if I'd only waited, I'd not be stuck here in this hole  
Come here my star is fading and I swerve out of control  
And I swear I waited and waited, I've got to get out of this hole_

Over the next few weeks Rachel and Puck were inseparable mostly due to the fact that he wanted to protect her. She liked knowing that there was someone always around to protect even if he was being overprotective about it. Her parents went to another trip shortly after their confrontation so all she had was Puck.

Rachel walked into school wearing jeans, and a white v-neck. She didn't go back to her short skirts and knee high socks but he noticed that her eyes were at least normal. Puck started walking over to her when suddenly Finn was by her side. He could tell that whatever he was saying was hurting her because her face started to scrunch up like it always did before crying.

"Do we have a problem here?" Puck asked wrapping his arm around Rachel's shoulders. Finn looked at the two of them as if they were strangers and then walked away in a hurry. He could feel Rachel relax against his arm as she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"What was that all about?" Puck asked.

"Just Finn being Finn. He asked me if I wanted to hang out with him since Quinn has been yelling at him all the time. I told him I wasn't a replacement for his girlfriend when he was pissed and he told me that it wasn't like that and that he had feelings for me. I told him to back off," she said rapidly.

"What a jerk," Puck said. She nodded in response as her eyes started to water. Puck saw this and pulled her in close to him. Matt and Mike stood from a distance.

"This isn't fair dude," Matt said.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I hate Quinn and Santana's rule. No one, not even Rachel Berry, deserves to be treated the way that she gets treated," Mike added.

"I say we forget it; Puck has." Mike nodded in agreement making his way over towards Rachel and Puck with Matt following him. Puck saw the two of them walking over and stiffened pulling Rachel in behind him.

"What do you guys want?" Puck said. He felt a little guilty for talking to his friends in such a harsh tone but he was sincere when he said that he would protect her from anything that would harm her.

"We just wanted to tell Rachel that we're sorry. It's not fair how we treated you," Mike said. Puck took a step to the side allowing them to speak to Rachel.

"We're really sorry for everything that we've done," Matt said. Rachel shook her head.

"It's okay, you guys didn't do anything," Rachel said. It was true; they didn't do anything to hurt her.

"Still doing nothing is worse than doing something and we're really sorry that we just stood by and watched idly as they did what they did to you. We are going to be there for you Rachel. " Rachel nodded her head in acceptance.

"Thanks guys," she said pulling them into a hug. Puck smiled at the sight in front of him. Two of his best friends were stepping up and doing what was right. He held a new found respect for the two and was also glad to see that Rachel was happy and had two other people in her life.

_But time is on your side  
Its on your side now  
Not pushing you down and all around  
It's no cause for concern_

"C'mon Berry, it's time to go to class," Puck said interrupting the sappy moment before he grew a vagina. Rachel nodded and started making her way to class. Mike and Matt followed as Puck walked with Rachel. Once Rachel got into her class, Puck turned around to face Mike and Matt with a stern expression on his face.

"You guys aren't doing this as a set up are you? Because I swear to god, I don't care if you guys are my friends I will hunt both of you down," Puck said.

"Chill dude, I promise you we're not doing anything like that," Mike said.

"Good, she has enough to deal with. I don't need her to deal with you two either." The three best friends (HAHA, hangover) nodded at each other and did their secret handshake they established since the 2nd grade.

"Let's go get something to eat," Matt said. Puck and Mike agreed as they boarded Matt's car and speeded to the nearest diner. The three of them sat around the table and caught up with each other. Since Puck learned about Quinn's pregnancy, he stopped hanging out with his friends so being around Matt and Mike was refreshing. It went like that for the next few weeks. The three of them would walk Rachel to English and then they would ditch school while she was in class. They would either go get a bite to eat or play games at Puck's house. They boys returned back to school just before Rachel's class let out. When she walked out, all three boys practically ran over to her.

"What's wrong?" Mike asked.

"It's nothing," Rachel said.

"Rach, come on. You can trust them, whatever you say to me you can say to them," Puck assured. Rachel nodded her head and proceeded.

"I went into English and overheard Santana, Kurt and Mercedes talking about how pathetic I must be for you three to want to be friends with me. They're still so upset at you three," Rachel said sadly.

"Rach, don't think that. We want to be your friends because of you not because we think you're pathetic. They're all just jerks," Matt said.

"I know, but I can't help it," Rachel said.

"Hey don't worry about it. C'mon let's go to lunch, we brought you food," Puck said. Rachel agreed and the three of them made their way to an empty table. Just then Santana, Brittany and Quinn walked over to the table as mad as ever.

"What do you think you guys are doing?" Santana barked at Matt and Mike.

"We're having lunch with our FRIEND Rachel," Mike said emphasizing the word friend.

"Wow Manhands, 3 football players. I wonder what you had to do to get them to be friends with you. I wouldn't be surprised after that celibacy club meeting," Quinn said. Rachel just looked down. She was sick of trying to stick up for herself. Luckily, she didn't have to.

"That's enough Quinn," Puck said getting up; Matt and Mike followed suit. "God, I knew you were mean but this is taking it too far. You three need to back off.

"We've been friends for weeks now; it's time for you guys to move on," Matt said.

"Seriously, whatever you have between you guys and Rachel, it's over," Mike said supporting Puck. Santana, Brittany, and Quinn rolled their eyes and folded their arms over their chest.

"This is not the last time," Santana said. The three cheerios walked away leaving Puck, Rachel, Mike and Matt sitting there in shock.

"Wow," Matt said. The two boys nodded as Rachel just stared blankly at her food. The few past weeks felt like absolute bliss. She was actually excited to wake up every day, but it just felt like she was fighting too hard to keep the feeling.

"Guys, I have to go," Rachel said. They nodded. They knew that that meant she needed to be alone to cry. The rest of the day went by slowly; the boys didn't see Rachel at all. When glee started, they were anxious to see Rachel. Mike, Matt and Puck sat in the back looking at each other because glee was going to start and she hadn't walked in yet. Just then, Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury walked in with Rachel following close behind. Her face with red and her eyes were puffy. It was obvious that she had been crying.

_Come on, oh my star is fading  
And I see no chance of release  
And I know I'm dead on the surface  
But I'm screaming underneath_

"Guys, take a seat," Mr. Schue instructed everyone. Once they all sat down, he spoke again. "Rachel has something to say."

"Oh what now," Mercedes muttered.

"I just wanted to tell you all that I apologize that this is short notice especially with Sectionals around the corner…"

"What are you going to tell us that you persuaded Mr. Schue into giving you every single solo and now we have to rework everything we've spent months practicing," Kurt added.

"No. Look I'm quitting Glee; I'm done with it," Rachel said bluntly. All the mouths in Glee dropped with the exception of Rachel and Mr. Schue.

_Instead of going to the bleachers like she usually did when things like this happened, she made her way to Mr. Schue's office. He was in there talking to Ms. Pillsbury as if no one knew that the two were in love with each other. Rachel knocked softly on the door getting the attention of the two adults. Ms. Pillsbury moved out of the seat and stood by Mr. Schue as he motioned for Rachel to come in. _

"_Hey Mr. Schue, do you have a minute?" Rachel asked. _

"_Yeah Rachel, I've been meaning to talk to you. I just wanted to thank you for being such a team player lately." _

"_Mr. Schue, I've decided to quit Glee." Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury looked at Rachel in shock. "Mr. Schue I know you're wondering why and I can assure you it has nothing to do with you or the solos. I just know that I'm not a part of Glee, I might be a part of it physically but mentally and emotionally I'm not. You are all about team unity and you know that with me on the team there will never be any unity. Look at the team now; I've split up Mike, Matt and Puck from everyone else." _

"_Rachel, think about this…" Mr. Schue began._

"_I have Mr. Schue, and I really think it's the best. Kurt was right; I am replaceable. Give Mercedes or Santana or even Kurt my solos, they can handle it."_

"_If this is what you want Rachel, I can't stand in your way." _

"Are you serious? We can't pull off sectionals if you leave now," Santana growled. She was not one to lose.

"Seriously Rachel, this is so like you; throwing a diva fit just because you don't have all the solos. God!" Kurt yelled.

"For someone who always wants to talk all this crap about teamwork and putting your all in a song, you're quick to just quit on all of us," Mercedes said. They started circling her yelling obscenities at her for ditching them so late in the game. Finn just stood back to stunned to move. Mike, Matt and Puck all got up and pulled Rachel from the circling mob as Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury tried to talk them down. Puck, Mike and Matt huddled around Rachel as she cried into Puck's chest.

"You're so egotistical Rachel! This is all because of that Defying Gravity solo isn't it? Can you be so selfish? Do you know how much that songs means to Kurt?" Mercedes yelled towards Rachel's direction.

"Do you know how much that songs means to me?" Rachel yelled back.

"Please Rachel! What is so wrong in your perfect little world," Quinn scoffed.

"Rachel, you don't have to explain," Puck said holding her hand. Quinn narrowed her eyes at this.

_Stuck on the end of this ball and chain  
And I'm on my way back down again  
Stood on a bridge, tied to the noose  
Sick to the stomach  
You can say what you mean  
but it won't change a thing  
I'm sick of the secrets_

"No I want to. Kurt, I know Defying Gravity means a lot to you considering, but have any of you once taken the time to figure out why I was so excited to get the solo and why I was so sad when Mr. Schue gave it to Kurt? Defying Gravity is more than just one of my favorite songs. It is about overcoming adversity which is what I had to deal with all of my life. Do you guys have to deal with others calling you a slut, a whore, a jezebel, Manhands, Rupaul, and other vicious names? Kurt I know that you have it hard but has anyone ever told you to your face that you were a fag because I would never call you that. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you that's why I let it go because I know that that song was important for you," Rachel said tears streaming down her face. She was shaking with pain. She felt as her heart was going to burst at any moment. He saw as Kurt's eyes grew wide at the word 'fag' and then saw how his expression softened. Puck pulled her close to him but she wanted to continue.

"My decision to quit is not a diva decision because I didn't get the solo; I don't care anymore. I'm quitting because I see what my presence in this club is doing to all of you. Brittany, Santana, Mike and Matt you guys were so close now you're fighting each other because they've decided to be my friend. Finn and Puck's friendship has strained, and I've hurt Quinn and Finn's relationship more than I've ever meant to. And the rest, I don't know what I did to deserve this from all of you. We were the original five; I thought there was some loyalty in that. Whatever I may have done to all of you, I'm sorry but I refuse to be treated like this any longer." By this time, she was bawling into Puck's chest, Mike and Matt surrounding her as well. The rest of the glee club looked at each other shocked, not knowing what to say. She pushed away from Puck's chest. She needed to get out of there.

"I got to go. I have to be alone," Rachel said running off. She ran out of the school, got into her car and sped home. On her way home, she sped past a red light not caring anymore. She knew that whatever happened she was going to make sure that no other people were hurt. She covered her eyes and swerved as cars another car was making their way towards her. The car finally stopped as it smashed into a light post at 55 mph. Her head rested on the steering wheel bleeding. All the other cars stopped in the middle of traffic and ran out to see the scene in front of them.

"Someone call the ambulance!" Minutes later, the scene was cleared and the ambulance came. They checked for a pulse but only felt one faintly. They put her on the stretched and sped towards the nearest hospital. The paramedic grabbed Rachel's phone and called the last dialed number.

Mr. Schue normally didn't answer the phone during glee rehearsals but when he saw that it was Rachel, he thought she may have changed her mind. Everyone else in glee was pretty quiet after everything that Rachel had just said. Puck, Mike and Matt were talking amongst themselves while the others just kept looking at each other in silence. He stepped out of the room to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" Mr. Schue said.

"Hi, is this Mr. Schuester?" Mr. Schue's eyes were wide with alarm as he realized that it wasn't Rachel's voice he was talking to.

"Yes, I'm Rachel's teacher. What happened?"

"She's been in a car accident. It's serious. We're rushing her down to the hospital right now."

"I'll be on my way," Mr. Schue said hanging up and running back in the room.

_And time is on your side, it's on your side now  
Not pushing you down and all around  
No, It's no cause for concern_

* * *

**Okay! This is the longest chapter I've ever written. 3000+ words alone. Anyways, review please! Song is Amsterdam by Coldplay. **


	5. Warning Sign

**A/N: I just wanted to thank all the reader and reviewers for this story. I published it on Wednesday and have had 4,200 hits since then. Thank you all so much for you support! Your support and reviews are the things that motivates me to write as quickly as I do. So again, THANK YOU ALL!**

* * *

_A warning sign,  
I missed the good part then I realized,  
I started looking and the bubble burst.  
I started looking for excuses._

Mr. Schue ran back into glee with a sullen facial expression. The glee members looked at him curiously; it looked like he had been crying.

"Guys, there's been an accident," Mr. Schue started. Puck, Matt and Mike looked at each other in horror not wanting to hear what Mr. Schue was about to say. "Rachel's been in a car accident. It's serious. She's at Lima Hospital." Puck, Matt and Mike immediately bolted out the door and boarded Puck's truck. He pressed out the gas and accelerated all the way towards the hospital. Mr. Schue looked at the kids in front of him none of them moving.

"I'm really disappointed in you. I know how over the top Rachel can be but she doesn't do it to spite all of you. She's doing it because that's just who she is. I thought our team was really bonding," Mr. Schue said walking out of the room with Ms. Pillsbury by his side. They got into her car since it was newer and not likely to breakdown and drove to the hospital. The remaining eight members looked at each other not quite sure of what to say.

"What do we do," Tina said softly burying her face in Artie's shoulder. He couldn't say anything except console her trying to whisper comforting words to her.

"Do you think she did it on purpose," Quinn asked. Finn met her with angry eyes.

"How can you say that, Quinn? God you always think negatively about Rachel even at a time like this," Finn said letting his anger do the talking for him. "All this time you hated Rachel for what? Absolutely no reason. Before she even had a crush on me, you still hated her. It wasn't even her fault. She tried to tell me she was over me because she didn't want to cause stress on you and the baby but you know what I told her? I told her I had feelings for her and she held onto it and I just dragged her along so that I can a scholarship to drag the both of us out of this cow town."

"I didn't mean it like that Finn. It's just that in psych, we learned about suicide. It seems so obvious. Her change in behavior, mood, wardrobe, telling people off; she was preparing for it," Quinn said breaking down in tears. Finn grabbed her in a hug and tried to console her. The others just didn't know what they say. They couldn't even look each other. Kurt and Mercedes weren't even sitting next to each other.

_Come on in,  
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,  
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,  
That I started looking for a warning sign._

Puck, Mike and Matt made their way towards the emergency room desk. They asked for Rachel Berry but were met with a sad face.

"I'm sorry boys. She's currently in surgery right now. Please take a seat and we'll let you know. Do you have any way we can contact Rachel's parents?" she said sadly. The three boys shook their head.

"Her parents are on vacation. They're not supposed to be home for another month," Puck said. The boys took their seats in the waiting room all looking down trying to hide the tears that were forming. They didn't care if it was girly of them to cry, it was their best friend in there. A few minutes passed and a doctor came walking out sadly. The receptionist pointed the doctor towards Puck, Mike and Matt. The three of them got up when they sat the doctor making his way towards them.

"Hello. My name is Dr. Tang, and I was the surgeon for Rachel." They boys all shuddered when they heard Dr. Tang say the word _was._ "I'm sorry to tell you boys this especially at such a young age. From what reports say, Rachel was speeding and she missed a red light. She tried to swerve away to not hit any of the cars but she ran into a lamp post and the impact was just too hard. She hit her head against the steering wheel and dealt with a huge amount of glass shards, and broken bones. Unfortunately, the biggest impact was her head injury. I'm sorry, we did everything we could to resuscitate her."

_When the truth is,  
I miss you.  
Yeah the truth is,  
That I miss you so._

Puck's knees started to buckle and all of a sudden it was hard to even stand. Mike and Matt were trying to hold him for support but even they were struggling with their own feelings. The four of them grew close to each other over the past few weeks. It was the closest that they've ever been with a girl that didn't involve having any sexual activity. It was nice; they felt like a close knit family. Well Matt and Mike felt like Rachel's brothers, and they often joked that Rachel and Puck were the incestuous cousins. Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury came rushing towards the boys.

"Is Rachel okay?" Matt and Mike looked at Mr. Schue and shook their heads sadly while Puck sank to the floor crying violently with his head in his hands. Mr. Schue held Ms. Pillsbury as she cried in his chest. He too was holding back the tears that were flooding his eyes. He was one of those people who always expected more out of Rachel than anyone else. Mike and Matt were trying to console Puck but their efforts failed when Puck started to react violently. He got up, mad as ever and started to kick some free chairs in the waiting room.

"Let me see her," Puck yelled at the doctor. The doctor frowned at this.

"Son, I know you're hurting right now but I really don't think this is a good idea. I want you to remember her when she was alive and not see her like this," the doctor said. Puck stood his ground and the doctor finally relented. He showed Puck, Mike, Matt, Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury the operation room that was barely starting to get cleaned. They looked over at Rachel. Her face was clean from all the blood but you can see all the marks the accident left on her. Just then, he saw Rachel's thigh and looked at the doctor.

"What the hell is this," Puck asked seething with anger.

_A warning sign,  
You came back to haunt me and I realized  
you were an island and I passed you by,  
You were an island to discover._

"This is what I did not want you to see son. I don't know how long it has been going on but from the cuts some of them can date back six months."

"Y-you mean she's been doing this to herself?" Mike asked; his voice shaking as he spoke. The doctor nodded.

"I want to see the rest. You guys should turn around for this," Puck said determined. The rest of the group did as they were told and the doctor showed Puck Rachel's stomach. He broke down in sobs as he traced his fingers around the many cuts.

"How could she do this," Puck whispered to himself.

"I'm sorry. Let me give you some time," the doctor said making his way out. Delivering the news that one of his patients had died was tough, but having to tell the three sixteen year old boys and the two teachers that not only had she died but she was also cutting herself made the top of the list. Puck started bawling as he kissed her hand and wiped the hair away from her face.

"We'll be outside," Mike said putting his hand on Puck's shoulder as a sign of support. Matt and Mr. Schue did the same. Ms. Pillsbury pulled him into a hug and told him that if needed to talk, her door was always open.

The next day at school was rough. Puck, Matt and Mike looked absolutely miserable. For the Asian and Black football players, it was a rare sight to see. Puck was roaming the walls attempting to fight every kid looking his way. Luckily for them Matt and Mike were always by his side to calm him down. The three of them really didn't want to go to school that day but they knew that if Rachel were still alive she would chew their heads off about ditching more than they already did. Matt, Mike and Puck went on their usual trip to the diner during their free period. They had been around each other most of the time during the past few hours but they haven't spoken about Rachel yet until Matt broke the silence.

_Come on in,  
I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,  
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,  
That I started looking for a warning sign._

"Puck man, we need to know where your head is at," Matt said. Frankly, he was hurting inside but even he knew that it wasn't measurable to the amount of hurt that Puck had. Matt knew that Puck had loved her. Just the way he smiled at her, the way he treated her, the way he calmed down at the sound of her voice spelled out love.

"She died and I never had a chance to tell her how I felt about her," Puck said.

"You're not too late Puck," Mike added. Puck looked at Mike like he was the dumbest thing possible but softened his expression when he saw the worry and honesty in his face. "I mean yeah physically you can't tell her how you feel but no matter where she is, she'll always be in here," he said motioning to his heart. "She'll be with you wherever you go cheering you on. I remember you used to tell us about how she always found the best in people and cheered them on with any endeavor. Just because she's gone doesn't mean she'll stop doing that." Puck looked at his friend with a lot of respect but he couldn't bring himself to respond. Matt and Mike nodded at him understanding his pain.

The trio made their way to glee later on the day. They basically had to drag their feet to glee because they didn't want to be around the people that hurt Rachel the most. Everyone including Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury were already there sitting quietly. They took their seats away from the rest of the group forming a line of division. The boys stared intently at the chair in front of them. Rachel used to sit in that chair while the three boys sat in the back constantly poking at her and trying their best to disrupt her.

"Guys, I wanted to show you this video." Puck narrowed his eyes at the pink tablet that Mr. Schue had in his hands. It was Rachel's. He remembered the day her daddy gave it to her. She was so ecstatic and called Mike, Matt and himself over so that they could play with her new toy. He went and bought that pink case for her because he knew that pink was her favorite color. Mr. Schue dimmed the lights and attached the iPad to the projector. Soon enough Rachel's face appeared. Puck's breath got caught in his throat as he realized from what she was wearing that she had filmed and uploaded the video the night prior to the accident. It was the night he was supposed to stay over, but his mother called.

"The paramedics handed this over to me saying that this was important," Mr. Schue continued. "I hope you all know what happens when you take bullying too far." His face was pained yet stern. He pressed play and almost everyone in glee winced in agony as they heard Rachel's voice.

_When the truth is, I miss you.  
Yeah the truth is that I miss you so.  
And I'm tired; I should not have let you go.  
So I crawl back into your open arms.  
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms._

* * *

**REVIEW PLEASE :) ****Song choice is Warning Sign by Coldplay! **

**A/N: I'm sorry I killed off Rachel but that was my intention from the very start when I initially wanted to make this a one-shot. The effects of bullying are tough to deal with. The feeling of not having anyone there for you is even harder. That's one thing I'm upset about with Glee. I feel like the kids in Glee are all so eager to embrace each other but when it comes to Rachel they're willing to ostracize her at a drop of a hat. ****They rallied around Finn and Quinn, became quick friends with Santana and Brittany, supported Kurt in Defying Gravity, supported Mercedes in her song during the pep rally. It's just hard to see that they don't treat Rachel with the same respect.**** It's always bugged me and the spoilers about season 2 just make me feel more sad about her character.  
**


	6. How You See The World

_Are you missing something?  
Looking for something?  
Tired of everything  
Searching and struggling  
Are you worried about it?  
Do you wanna talk about it?  
Oh You're gonna get it right some time _

"Hi everyone! I guess if you're watching this it means that something tragic happened to me. You know me; I'm not one for subtlety." Rachel got a few grins from some of the people in the audience. Rachel certainly knew how to cause a bang when she left or entered a room. "I guess you're looking for an explanation huh? Well, the honest truth is that I've thought about doing this for a while until three special people walked into my life. I want to thank the three of them from the bottom of my heart. They were the reason why I put it off as long as I did. Frankly, I'm just tired of having to deal with everything day in and day out. The hurt, the pain, and the lies it was all too much for me to handle. I was just tired of having to try to prove myself; I was tired of watching Matt, Mike and Puck have to fight those they were all close to because of me. I hated being the one that caused all the problems, and I have realized that that has been my role for a while now. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I forgive all of you so don't blame yourself for what happened to me." Everyone in the class started tearing up at Rachel's video.

"Quinn, I want you to tell the truth because even though it might be painful, I can imagine that it will relieve the burden from you and the parties involved," Rachel began. Quinn started to bawl in her chair as she remembered her history with Rachel.

_Quinn hadn't gone to Glee in days. Ever since the rest of glee found out she was pregnant she couldn't handle being in the room. Slowly, she realized that not being a part of glee left her nothing. She went into the bathroom crying when she heard the door open softly. It was Rachel. _

"_What do you want manhands?" Quinn said abrasively. _

"_I just wanted to see how you're doing. I noticed you haven't been in Glee," Rachel said taking the seat on the cold tile next to Quinn. _

"_Why are you here?" _

"_I just know how it feels to be on the outside and I would never wish that anyone not even my biggest enemy. Look pretty soon you're going to be showing and glee will be all you have." Quinn took a moment to think about it and found herself nodding her head._

"_I'll think about," she said getting up. She paused at the door and turned around. "You know if the roles were reverse, I'd make this a living hell for you right?" Rachel nodded in response and Quinn just walked out._

Quinn sobbed violently as she leaned towards Finn for support.

"What is she talking about Quinn?" Finn asked. Quinn looked between Puck and Finn. She saw the painful look on Puck's face and knew she had to do what was right. She took a deep breath and looked at Finn.

_There's so much to be scared of  
And not much to make sense of  
Are you running in a circle?  
You can't be too careful  
And you can't relate it  
'Cos it's complicated  
Oh You're gonna get it right some time  
You're gonna get it right some time _

"The baby isn't yours," Quinn said quietly. Finn removed her from his grasp and slid back.

"What do you mean the baby isn't mine?" Finn said in disbelief.

"The baby is Puck's," she said through tears. Santana and Brittany were immediately at her side consoling her while Finn walked over to Puck. Just as he was about to hit Puck who was just sitting there waiting for it, he heard Rachel's voice.

"It's like I have psychic abilities huh," Rachel added. "Finn, I know you're mad and that this must be painful for you but please don't do it. Quinn may have been wrong hiding the truth from you but she did it for a reason. She wanted the best for her daughter and in her opinion the best was you. You were supposed to be the one. Before you take out your anger on Noah just think about how he felt knowing all along that he had a daughter about to be born but had to keep quiet and pretend like it wasn't his." Finn softened a little as he looked over at Puck who just nodded his head.

"There's nothing wrong with this picture Finn. You love Quinn no matter what even if she lied to you; you know you will still love her so let's not make this into drama that is unneeded. I know what a good guy you are; I know that you will still support Quinn. Besides, what's wrong with having two wonderful dads and an equally wonderful mother to watch over your baby girl? " Finn looked down. He was hurt; how could Quinn and Puck just like to him? But what Rachel said was right. No matter what he still loved her. He walked over to Puck and extended his hand as a truce. Puck let out a deep breath and shook it. He walked back to Quinn and gave her a long hug.

"I'm so sorry," Quinn cried.

"Shh, it's okay. Everything will be okay. I promise." The class focused on the video when they heard her voice again. It was like she was there, taking necessary pauses for things to unfold.

"Santana and Brittany, you guys have the best friendship I've ever seen any two girls have. If it weren't for your different cultures, you guys could pass off as sisters from how close you two are. Regardless, I bet you still consider yourselves as sisters." Santana looked over at Brittany and held out her pinky. Brittany gladly took it and they watched the video together. "I just feel like you can take Brittany for granted. She's not someone who's under your rank Santana; she's your best friend." Santana looked down. She knew exactly what Rachel was talking about.

_Rachel was sitting in her car crying over something Finn had done when she heard a soft tap on her window. She looked up and saw Brittany standing there with an apologetic smile. Rachel rolled down the window to see if the blonde needed anything. _

"_Hey, are you okay?" Brittany asked. Rachel nodded not believing that Brittany would care about how Rachel really felt. _

"_I'm not trying to be mean Brittany but what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to hate me?" Brittany gave her a small smile and shook her head. _

"_I don't hate you Rachel. It's just that when Santana and Quinn establish a rule, the rule is set in stone." Just then Santana walked out of the building and yelled over to Brittany._

"_What do you think you're doing Brit?" Santana yelled. Brittany straightened up. _

"_Nothing, I was just talking to Rachel," she said. Santana walked over to her with her hand on her hip._

"_What do we say? Manhands is not to be talked to. Let's go Brittany." Santana started to walk away but Brittany didn't move. Annoyed, Santana turned around and yelled back. "Hurry up Brittany or do you want to be Berry's friend because I can push you off the social ladder in a second." Brittany looked down and then followed Santana. _

Santana was crying at the memory. Brittany was crying too but for a whole different reason. She never hated Rachel and she could've done something to make it all stop but she didn't. She just allowed them to keep tearing her down.

_It's how you see the world  
How many times can you see?  
You can't believe what you learn  
It's how you see the world  
Don't you worry yourself  
Your not gonna get hurt _

"I'm so sorry," Santana said to her. The two best friends hugged each other tightly and cried over the hurt that they've caused and the loss of a fellow glee member. Kurt and Mercedes popped up as they heard their names echo throughout the room. Ever since they found out about the accident, Kurt and Mercedes stood as far apart from each other as possible.

"I just want to say that I forgive you for anything you have done for me. If I was in the same position as you guys, I would probably do the same." Kurt shook his head.

"No she wouldn't," Mercedes added.

"I just want to let you guys know that since I'm gone now, I expect you guys to lead our team to victory at Sectionals, Regionals and then Nationals. I know you guys have it in you. Mercedes your voice is absolutely breathtaking and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

_Ms. Pillsbury was filling in for Mr. Schue while he was getting his divorce finalized. He wanted New Directions to figure out who would sing the ballad. Initially, Rachel shot up and offered her services but was put in her place when Mercedes offered to do it. She got up and belted and I'm Telling You I'm Not Going Rachel watched as everyone swayed in their seats mesmerized by Mercedes' voice. She knew that she had no place to take away her shining moment so when she finished, Rachel got up and walked towards Mercedes._

"_That was amazing. You should do the ballad, you have a beautiful voice. I'm going to hug you now," Rachel said shyly. Mercedes smiled at her and opened her arms to hug her. _

"Kurt, I always knew that Defying Gravity was meant for you. The way you connected to that song showed me that I had no right in getting mad at Mr. Schue for giving it to you. Don't worry about what others do or say because you are a star at your own right." Kurt's eyes filled with tears as he heard Rachel talk about how much she respected him.

_It was shortly after the whole makeover fiasco. Both Kurt and Rachel stared as Finn was walking with Quinn in his arms. _

"_He'll never love us the way he loves her," Kurt had told her. "We're both wasting our time." They shared a brief look of understanding and walked away._

The small moment meant a whole lot to Kurt. Truthfully, he was always jealous of Rachel. Not because she has star talent, but because he knew that Finn did have feelings for Rachel. Sure his loyalty would always be to Quinn, but Kurt knew that Rachel was the one Finn would want if anything happened. Kurt and Mercedes both looked at each other crying as they walked over and gave each other a tight hug.

_Is there something missing?  
There's nobody listening  
Are you scared of what you don't know?  
Don't wanna end up on your own?  
You need conversation  
And information _

"Tina and Artie, truthfully I've always been jealous of you two. You guys have this type of love that I always wished I had; the unconditional love for each other despite your downfalls. I wish you two the best of luck; I can see you guys going the long haul. Remember, I'm kind of psychic," Rachel said with a wink. She got a few teary laughs across the audience. Tina and Artie looked towards each other and held hands while giving each other a small smile.

"Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury, this goes to you two as well. You guys love each other yet you're too scared to do anything about it. Life's too short to be waiting for the right moment; if you can feel it then go for it. Mr. Schue I know I haven't been the easiest student to work with and I knew you tried but you couldn't go against the rest of the glee club just to try to protect me but I thank you." Mr. Schue sobbed at the last part as Ms. Pillsbury pulled him into a hug.

"I could have tried. I should have tried. I'm a teacher; I shouldn't have let this go this far," Will said crying into Ms. Pillsbury's embrace. She just cuddled him harder and tried to console him as best as she could. Puck, Mike and Matt could feel their own tears coming to the surface. Everyone focused back onto the screen when they heard Rachel took a deep breath.

"Mike and Matt," she said with a comforting smile. "You two are some of the greatest people I have the honor of calling my friends. From that day you two came up to me and Noah in the hallway, you guys have kept your promise to be my friend. I remember that day when my parents left on their vacation, and you three came over and slept over to make sure I wasn't alone. I woke up in the middle of the night and I took this video." The screen changed into a dark video. You could see Rachel's face as she smiled and pressed her fingers to her mouth to signal silence. She focused the camera at the three sleeping figures on the floor. Mike was snoring lowly, Matt was laughing in his sleep and Puck was talking with a smile on his face.

"My three best friends," she whispered. Puck, Matt and Mike didn't care anymore. The tears they were trying so hard to hold were freely falling.

"Rachel, why'd you do it," Puck whispered. Matt and Mike put their hands on his shoulder to comfort him.

"Noah, I love you. Please, I know how hard you can be on yourself so I want you to know that you had no part of this. In fact, if it weren't for the three of you, I would have probably been gone weeks ago. You gave me everything I've ever wanted. A real friend, someone I can trust and someone I could love. You had no part of this Noah. I forgave you a long time ago. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to continue on but I want you to find someone who can love you the way you need to be loved. You're a good guy Noah underneath your badass exterior is this heart of gold. I wish you showed it more. Goodbye." With that the video turned black; Puck got up quickly and stormed out of the room in anger and hurt. He sat in his car and cried, constantly banging his steering wheel at every chance.

_Gonna get it right sometimes  
You just wanna get it right sometimes  
It's how you see the world  
How many times have you heard?  
You can't believe a word _

* * *

**Sorry for the late update! I've been packed with finals. So I know some of you are upset that I killed Rachel, so I was thinking about writing an alternative ending. Tell me how you guys feel about that! Remember, review please! :) **

**Song: How You See The World - Coldplay**


	7. See You Soon

Mr. and Mr. Berry came back two days after they were called. They would have come quicker but there wasn't an available flight to get on. They called Puck the day they got back and asked him to come over. Puck quietly walked up the steps to her house and knocked on the door. He was met with two pairs of tearful eyes. They gave him a welcoming hug and allowed him entrance.

"Noah, we know what a hard time this must be for you but we really need your help."

"I'll be glad to help with whatever I can," he said honestly. They thanked him before continuing.

"As you know, Rachel's funeral is in a couple of days and we want to clean out her things. Rachel was never a selfish person and she wouldn't want her clothes and everything else she left behind to be sitting in boxes when they could be donated to charity." Puck nodded. That was very true of Rachel. "But we don't have the heart to go into her room. It's too painful and we have last minute details to handle, can you do it?" Puck nodded again. He made his way up the staircase with the number of boxes they gave him and started to place her clothes in them. The process went on for a few hours and he got all the clothes in her room packed. He walked into Rachel's bathroom to look for any extra clothes. It felt weird going in there, because normally when Matt, Mike and Puck were over she would make them use the hallway bathroom instead. He shook if off thinking it was just a girl thing but as he stood in front of the mirror he quickly knew why. He was staring at her mirror of self hate. His heart winced as he read all the disparaging words she used. He wiped off all of it with rubbing alcohol until nothing was left but the outline and one arrow.

_You're beautiful just the way you are_ he wrote.

* * *

For the next few months, everything was slowly starting to get back to normal. The video of Rachel's made everyone realize that there wasn't enough time to bully, hurt or secretly love someone without telling them. Matt, Mike, Santana and Brittany decided that life was too short to stay mad at the ones you used to call best friends, so they reconciled a few days after. Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury decided to take one more go at a relationship. Quinn and Finn reconciled their differences when it came to the babygate and were functioning as a happy couple without feelings for others or secrets and lies. Tina and Artie were as close as ever even after Tina revealed to Artie that she didn't have a stutter. Of course he was hurt, but he loved her too much to lose her over something so trivial. Kurt and Mercedes slowly forgave themselves and each other. They became the ultimate leaders of Glee club, though they didn't always get the solos. After the video, they realized that Rachel was right. Glee Club had to be united, so the two of them decided to come together for good intentions rather than making snide remarks. The unity of the glee club led them to their victory at Sectionals and Regionals. Normally, they needed 12 members to compete but once the rest of the world learned what happened with Rachel they let that rule slide.

It seemed like everything was in place. The team unity, the change in moral at school seemed for the better. The social ladder was still there but after Rachel's death, everyone stopped the bullying and slushie facials. They all blamed themselves for her death. Everything and everyone seemed to be slowly yet surely moving on with their lives with the exception of Puck. He did a complete 180 after Rachel died. He attended all of his classes and made it all the way to honor role. He started to throw himself into football and glee but his personality was no longer there. He did all the things that Rachel would have wanted him to, but he wasn't the same Puck. Aside from Quinn, his mother and his sister, he had no serious female interaction. It was like he was stuck in limbo and couldn't find his way out.

"Finn, what do you think if we keep the baby?" Quinn asked him one day while they were lying in bed.

"I would love if you kept baby drizzle," Finn said smiling. Quinn rolled her eyes at the nickname that Finn had gave the baby. "What made you change your mind though?" She was almost due any moment and it was scary because they had Nationals the next day. Quinn couldn't board the plane with them so Quinn and Finn decided that some alone time was best for them so they left a three days earlier and drove to California. They would've gotten there in one and a half days but Quinn needed too many pit stops along the way.

"After Rachel died, I saw how it took its toll out on Puck and I don't want him to lose another important person in his life. I don't want any of us to lose another important person in our life," Quinn said softly. Finn kissed her forehead and sighed deeply.

"I think this is a good idea Q," Finn said. With that, the two drifted off to a deep sleep. The next morning, everyone was up and nervous about their competition. Puck and Finn had noticed that Quinn had been wincing every so often throughout the whole morning. When they asked if everything was alright, she just faked a smile and made up an excuse about Braxton Hicks. The group hung around backstage as they watched other the glee clubs, Vocal Adrenaline and Oral Intensity, from the central division perform.

"Okay everyone huddle up," Mr. Schuester said. They were up next and he could see the nerves in everyone's face. "Okay guys! Let's do this one last time. We're going to do this for Rachel, and we're going to bring home the National trophy for her." The huddle quickly broke saying a silent prayer for Rachel.

"Puck you ready?" Mr. Schue asked patting him in the back.

"Yeah, someone told me the best way to relieve my pain is by singing," he said thinking about Rachel. Mr. Schue nodded knowing who that someone was and wished him luck. No one in New Directions knew what he was planning to do except for Mr. Schue. Just then, Quinn and Finn pulled him aside.

"Puck, can we talk?" Quinn asked. Puck's face shifted into a face of worry.

"Is everything alright with the baby?"

"Oh! Everything's fine. We just wanted to let you know that we're going to keep her and we want you apart of her life," she said excitedly. Puck smiled his first real smile ever since Rachel died.

"But I thought you didn't want to get stuck in Lima?"

"We're not going to. We're all juniors here. We have one more year together and then college all three of us were planning on attending Ohio State anyways. After that we can just see where life takes us but we want to make it work." Puck pulled Quinn in for hug and then gave Finn a manly hug thanking the both of them. They heard the applause for Vocal Adrenaline as a signal to get ready.

"Next up we have our last contestants in the central division. Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a round of applause to William McKinley's New Directions," the announcer said. The crowd roared while New Directions made their way onto stage singing. They performed their Journey medley, which the audience took a kind liking to. Everyone was up off their seats and dancing. After Mercedes belted the last note, everyone began to cheer loudly. The rest of the glee club was going to walk off stage until they saw 11 stools out on stage. Everyone looked at each other in surprise except for Puck.

"Take a seat," he said with his guitar in hand.

"What is this," Finn whispered to the rest of the glee club before taking his seats. The rest shrugged and followed suit. Everyone sat in their usual U formation with Puck in the middle.

"As many of you know, our friend Rachel passed away earlier this year. It's been a long road for all of us to get to where we are now and some of us are still hurting but a wise birdie once told me that it was alright, that singing will help the pain and it's true. You see, I loved Rachel and I never had a chance to tell her how I felt. This song is for you Rachel, I hope I see you soon," Puck said before strumming the beginning chords on his guitar. The rest of the glee club offered background vocals to help Puck out.

"_So you lost your trust and you never should have  
You never should have but don't break your back  
If you ever see this but don't answer life_

_In a bullet proof vest with the windows all closed  
I'll be doing my best I'll see you soon  
In a telescope lens and when all you want is friends  
I see you soon_

_So they came for you; they came snapping at your heels  
They come snapping at your heels but don't break your back  
If you ever say this but don't answer life_

_In a bullet proof vest with the windows all closed  
I'll be doing my best I'll see you soon  
In a telescope lens and when all you want is friends  
I see you soon_

_I see you soon_

_And oh, you lost your trust  
And oh, you lost your trust  
No, don't lose your trust  
And oh, you lost your trust_" Puck choked out the last word as he thought about Rachel. Everyone in the audience and glee had tears running down their face.

"Thank you," he mumbled. Everyone got off the stage. The glee club met backstage and huddled in a group hug. All of them were crying for the remembrance of Rachel. They won the National title that year.

_9 years later_

Twenty four year old Puck was tucking his 8 and a half year into her bed at his apartment. After everything Mr. Schue taught him, he decided to follow in his footsteps. He became an English teacher at a high school. He helped with extracurricular activities such as football and glee. Quinn was a hot shot assistant defense attorney. She was making her way big in the judicial ladder. Finn became a commercial architect responsible for designing the mall that Lea loved to go to so much. They all moved to California after finishing their education. Finn and Quinn lived in a house a few blocks from his apartment.

"Daddy can you tell me the story again?" Lea asked.

"What story do you want to hear?"

"The story of the angel I was named after." Puck smiled at his daughter. Every time he had Lea for the night, she would always ask him to repeat the same story but he didn't mind. He loved her, loved the story and loved the angel.

"Well Lea, Rachel was one of those girls who had a heart of gold just like you," Puck started. He continued on with the story and watched as Lea was getting sleepier and sleepier. Once he finished the story, he got up, kissed her on the forehead and began to make his way out. Just before he turned off the light, he heard Lea whisper to him.

"Daddy, I like Rachel. She looks after me, mommy, papa, and I know she loves you daddy because I can tell by the way you talk about her and how she always believed in you." Puck smiled. His daughter sure was smart.

* * *

**That's the end of the story! I'll start with the alternative ending soon possibly making another story for it just because the alternative ending is going to be more than one chapter. Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed! Review Please! :)**

**Song: See You Soon - Coldplay  
**


	8. AN

**Just to let you know for all of those who have story alerts on this story, I have the alternate ending. Just click the username and the story is "I Will Fix You". Thanks! Hope to see you all there ;)  
**


End file.
